Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
