He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
