i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
