bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize