theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
