Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The best revenge is premature balding
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
