Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
