A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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