did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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