that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
