3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
