At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
