i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
