i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
