Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
