ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Randomize
