i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
