So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How does one acquire holy water?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
