I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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