Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
