I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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