Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
