Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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