you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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