Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
