can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
