Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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