so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Sorry my hands just texted you
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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