Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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