VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
