Don't make out with my wife yet
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize