he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There's always time for handjobs
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
