naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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