just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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