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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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