No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
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Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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