But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize