brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
