I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
dude. I can hear the air.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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