this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
