ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
