Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
