i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
