I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
