Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
