Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
