just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I licked your asshole in confidence.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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