Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize