I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
