So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
