Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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