Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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