Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
