Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We need to rekindle our bromance
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
