look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
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in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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