Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize